One of the worst things you can be told is: You are alone. Someone once said that to me; and it is a very daunting and challenging thought. It’s difficult to think that your caregiving duties are supported by no one and no one is there to help you or back you up. It’s also not true! You must and cannot be a caregiver without the help and support of a group of people.
First, you need to know there are medical people who can aid you. The second layer comes from friends and family members who can often give you advice or support to tell you what you need to hear. And the third tier of support comes from outside groups and agencies to seek out when you need them. There are groups you can join and those who know about caregiving who can help when you are down and feel you cannot go on.
Three Tiers of Support to know about…
These three tiers of support are indispensable. And you also need sub-groups of people like financial advisers who can aid you when you have questions about care or insurance questions. Nutritionists are also helpful team members to add to your support group.
Having a number to call is something you cannot and should not be without! It might be a friend to call when you are feeling down. It may be the nurse who knows your situation and background. It may be a loved one who lives far away. But there should be someone you can call. You must know that you are not alone!
Be Open to Accepting Help
It’s important also to remember to allow yourself to accept help. No man is an island is not simply a quaint old saying. It’s true. We cannot live in a vacuum. The amount of money we have is not a factor. And those who believe, “I’ve got this!” or that they cannot accept outside help from strangers are deluding themselves. One case we have seen, sadly, in recent memory is the one where a very competent and in-control caregiver, caring for a famous actor who was her husband, suddenly fell ill and died unexpectedly.
If there is no support mechanism in place to make daily or even weekly checks, then the entire system falls apart rapidly. In the case of this very prominent actor and the devoted wife who cared for him, money was not enough. When she became ill and died suddenly, her husband died too; as an Alzheimer’s patient would not be able to care for themselves in an advanced state. It is a very sad life lesson for many of us who feel that we don’t want to admit a lot of people in or out of the home. There are reasons that we must be open to allowing people to help us as caregivers.
Caregiving is not an exact science. Every story is different, just as every person has individual needs and levels of support. The amount of care may vary as people age; it may need to be increased as the years go by. Some people need constant care; others may simply need to have caregivers check on them regularly. Caregiving may change from a time when someone is living alone to another level when or if they enter assisted living. However, the layers of caregiving are always going to need to be supported and surrounded by those who know how to help.
The most important thing to remember: You are not alone.