Vignettes for March: An ode to Know-it-Alls

 

I’ve been thinking of late of times during the pandemic. And about all the things we DON”T know enough about! During the fall of the housing market, I remember  all the financial wizards and gurus who got it so wrong.  WE do not know one millionth of one percent about ANYTHING That’s a quote from Thomas Alva Edison….

There are many ways to describe those who are so sure of themselves, and know so much…and it times we all get into trouble with adamant refusals to back down on the things we know nothing about. Here’s a case in point. The smartest guys in the room, astrophysicists and the like, study dark matter. And even THEY say you might as well call it: “We have no idea what it is-Matter” because they ADMIT they don’t know.

One of the acknowledged smartest of the smart-set was Albert Einstein. Einstein’s Mistake is an entire BOOK about his big boo-boo…So with that we can conclude that at times even the smartest guys in the room are either arrogant asses like those Enron guys who laughed about screwing over grandma, or they are humble and smart enough to admit what they don’t know.

The other example is the afore-mentioned crash of ’08.  The housing market crashed and about three or four people got that one right…the rest were just marching us off the cliff. (See The Big Short for clarification on this)

That just leads to one conclusion.  There is always a possibility built in for human error.  One of the greatest moments in Apollo history occurred after a massive failure of equipment during the space flight. As I recall, Failure is not an option was their tag line for the subsequent movie. And they didn’t fail in their mission to get the guys home. But Failure is ALWAYS an option on the table. Human failure can mean that which we just don’t know. We cannot decree any one thing is ever a ‘sure thing’ or a ‘given.’  As I am terribly fond of saying, don’t give me advice or information on anything as if you have just been given two tablets and are coming down from the Mount!

That is why I love to associate myself with the stylization of Professor Ludwig Von Drake.  When I begin to try to describe things such as the proverbial stuff hitting the fan on any given day-then the remarks on the Holy S***T-o-Meter for the various degrees of lunacy are divided according to what we see in our daily lives.

History of Ludwig Von Drake

I love to associate myself with Ludwig Von Drake, the know-it-all cartoon duck. A short history of Von Drake tells us that, according to cartoon lore, he is the ‘paternal uncle’ of Donald Duck.  He has been described at times as an eccentric lecturer, a scientist, psychiatrist & self-proclaimed genius. That last one hits the mark for me. Professor Von Drake frequently displays his vast array of ‘expert’ knowledge on a variety of subjects. This all sounds familiar. He must now work on a cable network show. Incidentally, former Nazi Scientist Wernher Von Braun was the inspiration for this version of daffy duck.

In the end, it’s all about the amount of information that piles up that we perceive and that in which we are often deceived…

Lack of Marketing Skills..

But the marketing experts still tell us people want information. It’s hearkening back to Popeil’s Pocket Fisherman. It’s so Easy! Nothing ever sends chills up my spine more than those famous last words…

Nothing is ever as easy as it seems to those with no real knowledge, but a vast amount of marketing skill. And I again, can only lament, as I always do, about my lack-a-daisical Marketing skills. The title of my afore-mentioned new book is: “You don’t want to buy this from ME, do you?” It’s the sequel to the Groucho Marx bio: “I don’t want to be a member of any club that would allow someone like ME to become a member of their club!”

As stated, my marketing skills are at best, questionable. The idea I’ve had about “The Blurb Blog” is one where I am working to interest people in the various topics that are found on CSPAN. That idea is one that is not simply hitting a speed bump, it’s fallen over a cliff and into a ravine.

There are so many ideas I have that are what is technically known as ‘no good’ or as helpful editors sometimes add; Who cares? These are reasons that some of my work is destined for the dustbin of history.

Another novel idea is for a top ten list of “Under the Radar’ news items that don’t get as much news coverage. I think I know why that is having a hard time getting play… Because my ad campaign consists of: This is really no good, isn’t it?

Speaking of radar brings to mind my continued annoyance with The Happy Weatherman of Florida. We who live along the Gulf Coast are constantly beset by happy & jolly weatherman.

 To begin with, I have had sinus headaches bi-annually for about 10-20 years now These headaches come seasonally with the rains and the rain forest type weather that we often have in Florida. It’s the beginning of the rainy season soon and with it comes those dreaded jolly weathermen.

 Beware the Jolly Weatherman!

 

Whenever there is another storm , out pops another jolly weatherman on screen telling us to stay tuned! If this one isn’t bad enough, the next one is way worse and will probably get you! There’s always that to look forward to…

The Breezy Forecasters of Doom for the Gulf Coast

But it’s the fact that the forecasters are always so glib. They’ll say: Just keep an eye on it as it could completely uproot your home, but, just look at the beautiful convection as it whirls!

There was one storm in question in recent years, Elsa or Ilsa?, that was enough to give me a chuckle with the tweet from the weather man: “This storm should be pulled over for speeding! None of them go 31 mph. The average is about 11 mph” He was so happy to look at the wonderful miracle of science as the storms chug their way up the coast trying to choose their landing zone.

And those of us who live here are just stuck with glib weathermen and the idea that along the Gulf Coast, round and round and round she goes….where it stops…Nobody knows! It’s a huge game that is so not funny.

Except, of course, to the jolly weatherman who loves to forecast our impending doom!

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